i'm in the thick of all that testing stuff: genetic testing, testing for diabetes, testing testing testing.
after undergoing a level 2 sono, i seem to be at about the same down syndrome risk as other women my age. but the idea has been implanted in my mind that there may be a problem from the earlier bloodwork -- and i'm saying no to the amnio.
the next hurdle is the "slightly elevated" diabetes situation. i did the one-hour test. now they want me in for the three hour.
and slowly, slowly i am losing that mindset where i believe i will be able to birth safely at home.
i do believe flexibility is important. and just because I wanted to give birth at home doesn't, of course, mean that it will be safe or advisable to do so.
but a quiet, little place inside me feels it's getting screwed out of doing it my way, at home, the way that actually would be most peaceful for me and the little one.
i wonder how many moms to be get scared out of home birth.
i hope that after all this test is over, i will be able to recover my equilibrium enough to make a solid, informed decision about how and where to bring this baby into the world.
after undergoing a level 2 sono, i seem to be at about the same down syndrome risk as other women my age. but the idea has been implanted in my mind that there may be a problem from the earlier bloodwork -- and i'm saying no to the amnio.
the next hurdle is the "slightly elevated" diabetes situation. i did the one-hour test. now they want me in for the three hour.
and slowly, slowly i am losing that mindset where i believe i will be able to birth safely at home.
i do believe flexibility is important. and just because I wanted to give birth at home doesn't, of course, mean that it will be safe or advisable to do so.
but a quiet, little place inside me feels it's getting screwed out of doing it my way, at home, the way that actually would be most peaceful for me and the little one.
i wonder how many moms to be get scared out of home birth.
i hope that after all this test is over, i will be able to recover my equilibrium enough to make a solid, informed decision about how and where to bring this baby into the world.
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New York City
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Re: determining if it is possible
Fri, April 25, 2008 - 11:40 AMAre you seeing a homebirth midwife right now?
It sure sounds like you're already getting swept into the Cascade of Intervention, as they say.
I skipped ALL of that testing (after doing plenty of research) and had pretty calm, confident pregnancies with both of my kids.
If you flunk a diabetes test, what will they say? "man, you shouldn't eat so many simple carbs like the ones we just force-fed you!"
(I did pee on a stick at prenatals, and they took my blood pressure, but that was it)
Read Ina May Gaskin's books if you haven't already, and try to see what you really want for your birth experience.
I feel There's No Place Like HOME for us, deep deep deep in my heart.
Some women want to feel that way, but just aren't in that place- and that's okay! Happy hospital births are possible.
If you don't feel like you're in the right place for YOU, you may not have the best birth.
Birthing From Within by Pam England is a great tool for finding your center of gravity in pregnancy and preparing for birth and beyond.
Best wishes to you. -
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Re: determining if it is possible
Sat, April 26, 2008 - 1:37 PM>>>If you flunk a diabetes test, what will they say? "man, you shouldn't eat so many simple carbs like the ones we just force-fed you!"<<<
oh, thank you, dear one, for the first laugh i've had about all if this in yonks. you are quite right.
i've read a few of the gaskin books and birthing from within is on hold for me at the library. my sense from the first is that home is where i feel safe and am able to be inward and pay attention.
i'm on (i hope) a temporary delve into the cascade -- a good hospital is a ways from home and you hear those "if she'd only been in a hospital..." stories now and again and they are scary.... i was hoping that anything major could get flagged around mid point (now). the heart looked fine on sono, so probably even if the baby has down syndrome there won't be immediate complications around that at birth.
and my partner is in severe renal distress -- hospitalized twice in the last month -- so we're trying to keep an eye on the kidneys.
my heart is still telling me: strong, healthy baby. take the time and space to have this birth for real. don't share it with the quacks and the machines and the bright lights and noise. -
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Re: determining if it is possible
Sun, April 27, 2008 - 7:48 AMI was all about the no testing policy with my baby. But i let them do an ultrasound. The technician became obviously concerned and alerted the doctor to a "serious" situation. Apparently something was wrong with my baby's heart and neck. The only thing the doctor said was "in two weeks you go the the testing for genetic disorder place and there's something wrong with your baby's heart" then she got on the phone and the rest of the visit was vied between me and the person on the phone. I cried for 2 weeks. Looking and looking at that ultrasound, trying to figure out what the hell they meant. Well finally I got a 4d ultrasound and the baby was fine. I guess my point is, testing can cause all KINDS of undue worry. Sometimes they even tell you your baby has down syndrome when it doesnt' !!! This actually happened to a frien dof mine, the baby is 3 obviously does NOT have down syndrome, and they are still insisting! Well the parents tested the father, and he has an extra chromosone too, doesn't mean he's disabled in any way whatsoever. Fear is bad. Love is good. Just love your baby, I would suggest minimum testing, definitely not testing that could injure your baby, as in amniocentesis, and I think just being okay with whatever the outcome is really helps the outcome altogether. Blessings, amy -
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Re: determining if it is possible
Sun, April 27, 2008 - 7:59 AMGood lord, the doctor spent the rest of *your* visit on the phone with someone else?!! Did you get a discount because you were sharing your time with someone else? I am, of course, kidding. It's madness to think doctors won't get paid twice for the same hour if the can. still. I might bring that up next time, "hey, you know, when we had that test thing and you didn't explain it very well, it freaked me out, and then you were exceedingly rude by taking my time to talk to someone else. If this continues I'll have to look for someone else/recommend on the moms list that people avoid you/talk to your boss/etc."
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Re: determining if it is possible
Sun, April 27, 2008 - 11:00 AMthanks, amy. wise words. i know there are people who would choose to abort a baby with down syndrome and feel they must know -- so i guess this system is actually perhaps serving somebody. but yeah, i know one mom whose blood pressure went so high from all the anxiety the docs were putting in her that she took a break and only dealt with her midwife for a while. the baby was born with some issues that required hospitalization -- but they dealt with that when they had to and the baby is fine now, thank god/ess. -
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Re: determining if it is possible
Sun, April 27, 2008 - 5:48 PMOh yeah, I dumped the doctor after that visit. I also had chorionic hemorrhaging and she went into NO detail about why I was bleeding profusely or the effects or anything. Also, on the fear factor, during my labor ( I finally got midwives and doulas and good support) that same doctor came in repeatedly to the room (it was a vbac so I "had " to go to the hospital) and told me my uterus was going to rupture. She said if it hurts then that means I'm going to rupture. The midwife fought her off like a banshee. The midwife focused on the pain being beneficial to my cervix opening. The midwife focused on my strength, while the nurses focused on offering me pain medication because I couldn't handle the pain. The point is, i felt as if there were two extreme polar opposites in the room, as there are for you during this crazy testing phase. Find support. Find midwives or doulas who believe in your body's ability to create a perfect, healthy baby. And as one midwife told me, prepare for anything, but expect the best. -
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Re: determining if it is possible
Sun, April 27, 2008 - 6:55 PMthank you. tears in my eyes. -
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Re: determining if it is possible
Sat, May 3, 2008 - 3:48 PMI have a whole new respect for Rikki Lake after watching the documentary she did :
"The Business of Being Born" ....it was quite good!
I believe I found it on www.QuickSilverScreen.com
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