i was just hospitalized for a week. it seems a fibroid has grown large and is pressing into my bladder so painfully that i was screaming when i had to pee. i'd lost a lot of bladder control, too. and i'd begun having contractions. i was spotting. none of it too swell.
what i'd hoped for was a home birth. i'd like to be in this space.
the week in the hospital (it was a labor and delivery area) showed me that the hospitals are not necessarily as evil heartless and stupid as i think think they are. but i did bump into one evil, stupid, heartless doc, a number others i'd consider sub par, one stealar and kind doc, one good and trustworthy doc, an absolutely fabulous charge nurse and some other decent, okay, and the occassional crappy nurse. -- it was a teaching hospital, as are most in NY, so you get exposed to quite a range of characters. and it does seem like a crap shoot.
i don't know that i will be assigned a particular doc in the high-risk clinic or that that doc will be the person to deliver my baby. but what i saw was that while they may save my life, i might be stuck dealing with a cavalier asshole at the most vulnerable moment of my entire life. i do not like that. not one bit. i don't like taking a chance on it.
in a teaching hospital, you can get stuck with the kind of doc who thinks you are flouting their authority if you ask questions. i had this happen, even though i said over and over that i just needed info. one doc told me that it seemed i just wouldn't be happy with anything she said -- and i had to very carefully say i'm a bit of a slow processor especially when stressed and that i was indeed stressed at that point in the visit. once it was established the problem was with me, she calmed down a bit. as i tried to go over the game plan with the doctor who was discharging me, she kept saying things like "well, if you don't want to trust me...." mind you i'd tried a game plan for pain management with the previous day's doc and had wound up in such bad shape i was crying and could barely breathe. now this doc had gotten "too busy" to try out her game plan but thought i ought to trust her on it. i mean, this is A LOT of pain we are talking about.
i'm at about 21 weeks now and there will be time to see how the pregnancy goes and i may still be able to, but as the medical situations continue to pile up on me, i get more and more afraid to listen to the voice that keeps saying do it at home.
and i know that once you're labeled "high risk" the odds go way up of getting bullied into a c-section or having to fight like hell against it.
it has been heartening to read the encouragement (including my own) on the how do i convince my husband and family thread.
it really is hard not to get cowed into thinking you are doing something selfish if you want to give birth at home.
of course if there is a demonstrable need for me to be in a hospital, i will do it.
what i'd hoped for was a home birth. i'd like to be in this space.
the week in the hospital (it was a labor and delivery area) showed me that the hospitals are not necessarily as evil heartless and stupid as i think think they are. but i did bump into one evil, stupid, heartless doc, a number others i'd consider sub par, one stealar and kind doc, one good and trustworthy doc, an absolutely fabulous charge nurse and some other decent, okay, and the occassional crappy nurse. -- it was a teaching hospital, as are most in NY, so you get exposed to quite a range of characters. and it does seem like a crap shoot.
i don't know that i will be assigned a particular doc in the high-risk clinic or that that doc will be the person to deliver my baby. but what i saw was that while they may save my life, i might be stuck dealing with a cavalier asshole at the most vulnerable moment of my entire life. i do not like that. not one bit. i don't like taking a chance on it.
in a teaching hospital, you can get stuck with the kind of doc who thinks you are flouting their authority if you ask questions. i had this happen, even though i said over and over that i just needed info. one doc told me that it seemed i just wouldn't be happy with anything she said -- and i had to very carefully say i'm a bit of a slow processor especially when stressed and that i was indeed stressed at that point in the visit. once it was established the problem was with me, she calmed down a bit. as i tried to go over the game plan with the doctor who was discharging me, she kept saying things like "well, if you don't want to trust me...." mind you i'd tried a game plan for pain management with the previous day's doc and had wound up in such bad shape i was crying and could barely breathe. now this doc had gotten "too busy" to try out her game plan but thought i ought to trust her on it. i mean, this is A LOT of pain we are talking about.
i'm at about 21 weeks now and there will be time to see how the pregnancy goes and i may still be able to, but as the medical situations continue to pile up on me, i get more and more afraid to listen to the voice that keeps saying do it at home.
and i know that once you're labeled "high risk" the odds go way up of getting bullied into a c-section or having to fight like hell against it.
it has been heartening to read the encouragement (including my own) on the how do i convince my husband and family thread.
it really is hard not to get cowed into thinking you are doing something selfish if you want to give birth at home.
of course if there is a demonstrable need for me to be in a hospital, i will do it.
posted by:
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New York City
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Re: being moved to the high risk clinic
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 3:43 PMWow! Tricky stuff.
Yeah, hospitals get a bad rap, but they're staffed by human beings, so you get the whole mix of humanity in there.
My first thought is Get A Doula! If you can find one you click with, she can be a valuable asset when dealing with those stressful combinations of pain and power-struggling staffers. She is likely to be obsessed with pregnancy and birth, and therefore both well informed and driven to learn more about your specific health challenges. She can be a useful pair of hands if you birth at home, and/or an invaluable pair of eyes and ears at the hospital.
If your budget won't exactly allow for this, remember that doulas in training often work for free!
Here's one list to check out:
www.alace.org/NY
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Re: being moved to the high risk clinic
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 6:34 PMI would totally say get someone or someone's to advocate for you. When I had my second son, the midwives would only deliver him in the hospital, cause he was a vbac, so I put out a couple of posts for doulas. I didn't have any money, had just removed my husband from the situation, realllly needed some help, you know, and like, 15 people called, completely willing to help me, really nice ladies, and I picked the one who had never attended a birth. I just felt it, you know..nobody asked for any money although I totally advocate paying doulas, they are like angels, and the love they give you is priceless, when you're laying there and you can't even speak, and you need a voice...So yeah, I would totally put out some feelers for a doula, and some real close friends who want to participate, not just watch.
Blessings to you
